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我發(fā)現(xiàn)大多數(shù)人不能既堅(jiān)定果斷同時(shí)又心態(tài)開(kāi)放。比較典型的是，他們更加堅(jiān)定果斷，沒(méi)那么心態(tài)開(kāi)放（因?yàn)橄啾葥Q位思考而言，把自己的觀點(diǎn)表達(dá)出來(lái)更容易一些，也因?yàn)槿送虉?zhí)己見(jiàn)），而有些人則太愿意接受別人的觀點(diǎn)，而失了自己的觀點(diǎn)。提醒人們要兩者兼顧是很重要的，并記住決策是個(gè)兩步走的程序，必須先搜集信息，再做決定。還值得提醒的是，那些能改變自身主張的人是最大的贏家，因?yàn)樗麄冇兴@益。而那些頑固不化、拒絕事實(shí)的人會(huì)是失敗者。經(jīng)過(guò)實(shí)踐、培訓(xùn)和不斷強(qiáng)化，任何人都可以在這方面做得很好。

Being e?ective at thoughtful disagreement requires one to be open-minded (seeing things through the other’s eyes) and assertive (communicating clearly how things look through your eyes) and to ?exibly process this information to create learning and adaptation.

I have found that most people have problems being assertive and open-minded at the same time. Typically they are more inclined to be assertive than open-minded (because it’s easier to convey how they see things than to understand how others do, and also because people tend to have ego attachments to being right) though some people are too willing to accept others’ views at the expense of their own. It’s important to remind people that they have to do both—and to remember that decision making is a two-step process in which one has to take in information as well as decide. It also helps to remind people that those who change their minds are the biggest winners because they learned something, whereas those who stubbornly refuse to see the truth are losers. With practice, training, and constant reinforcement, anyone can get good at this.